Please pray when you fight

It is easy to pray for someone when they are sick but it’s harder to pray for someone when you disagree with them.  I have to remind myself this continually, you think after a few years this would come naturally but for me it doesn’t.    

Psalm of David

My daily read today was Psalm (6:1-10) of David in regards to his anger, fear and sin.  I usually don’t post my thoughts and understanding on the Scriptures but David is like all of us.  Sometimes we feel the Lord is punishing us for our sin when in fact we are the ones pushing God away from us.  We think God turned his back on us because that is what most people do to another person. We must remember God in not human, we can always call on Him, He will always be there.

Jury Duty?

I have jury duty for the first time ever! I am having a hard time with this, I do not judge anybody period!  Who am I to say if someone is innocent or not? In my eyes everyone is innocent, that person could have a real good reason to commit t a crime.  I am not the one to judge, God is.  Now these poor people's fate is in my hands. 

Let's also not overlook that I don't like to hear disturbing details, no lie horror movies gives me nightmares.  If movie doesn’t have a happy ending, I will probably cry, followed by DH reminding me that these are actors and everybody is really ok.  But it's the grueling plot and details that get me so upset, the thought of somebody thinking of these disturbing movies (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) just send chills up my spin.

Needless to say I have been praying for weeks that this will be better than expected.  Any tips or advice on how I can get through this with a clear conscience?

Confession

We are suppose to pray for the ones who we dislike and love them ever more, that’s what ever Christian knows, what every priest preach on Sunday morning.  Well I am praying for my manager, I pray that she finds happiness in her life, I pray that she gets a personal life.  This way she can understand why we don’t wanna work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week.  I pray that she learns to let go of the little immaterial details, there is just not enough time in the day.  We all wanna go home and spend time with her family. Don’t worry I still leave after my 8 hours, my family always comes first, work comes 6^th on my list after family, church, friends, me, house lol.

For some reason I don't think this is what Fr. David means when he says pray for those who anger you.  Don't worry Father, I got the message, I really do pray for her, it's just sometimes my prays become vents too.

Close your eyes

And what do you see? I see the inside of my church, it’s around sunset because the stain glass windows look alive and the icons are glowing.  I can smell the incense and feel the warmth of the candles. This is what I see every time I get scared and nervous or happy and sad.  I wish everyone can see what I see, I don’t have a picture of my church’s alter during sunset but this is great view of what heaven looks to me.

  The more days of fasting there are, the better the healing is; the longer the period of abstinence, the more abundant the gain of salvation is.  

Blessed Augustine

My son is an Orthodox child

He kisses everything, he tries to bless himself, he is also learning when to bless himself but let’s take it a step beyond that… my DH step family is Jewish and there is a new baby in the family so we went to temple Sunday to witness the bris.  I came prepared with my bag of tricks, I rearranged his nap for the day, I feed him a heavy meal before hand, and we came a little early so he can warm up to the different crowd of people.  Sadly with all that work I still lost the battle of well behaved son.  I don’t know if I was going to win now that I look back. It said the ceremony was going to start at X but it didn’t start till another 45 minutes later and by then I was all out of tricks.  When it did start it was so quiet and monkey wanted to sign, he didn’t understand why he had to sit till he wanted to move around, talk to everybody around him.  So I finally took him out of the temple (when it felt like it just started) and found a little playground outside where all the other toddlers were at.  The other moms thought I was nuts thinking Monkey would be good for a 20 minute ceremony.  I explained to them that he does pretty well in our church but also explained our services a little (which is why he is pretty well behave in church) but I also shared them my bag of tricks :)

My Bag of Tricks

In my Church Bag

Crayola Mess Free markers (monkey really just like to take the tops off and on because he usually isn’t allowed to have anything beside crayons)

Monkey’s favorite stuff animal

Books and a small photo album

Lace Cards (homemade to fit Monkey’s lesson)

Raisin! I love raisin, they are small, semi healthy, they don’t make a noise when eaten, easy to pick up off the floor, and it takes them a while to pull out of a small box.

The follow below I don’t use in church for one reason or another but I do carry them with me for friend houses, restaurants, any non kid friendly place

Magnetic Face and an Etch a sketch

Small color book, small box of crayons, and stickers

Few tiny small animals and cars

Lollypops (the only time he is allowed to have a lollypop is when I need him quite and happy and boy he is!)

And when times get really tough, I give him a PEN lol

I love the first day of lent

A fresh start to focus on what is really important, 40 days ahead to live a simple life, less TV, less drama, less sweets, more love, more prayers, and more quality conversations. That’s just what I need because I feel a little lost right now.

Our 2010 Advent Chain

I know I am a few days late, it took some time to type this up.  I made an Advent Chain for Monkey, I don't know how successful this will be since he is only 21 months old but what harm can it do.  He enjoys ripping the links off, I'm having a hard time with Monkey ripping one at a time but that's what tape is for right. 

I cut strips of violet and rose paper and wrote something that I know Monkey can do on each of them.

11/28 Light the first candle on your Advent Wreath

11/29 Color the angels picture

11/30 Give a big smile to everybody you see

12/1 Help momma clean the house

12/2 Give everyone in your family a big hug

12/3 Make 4 Candles to hang on your wall

12/4 Have a special day with your parents

12/5 Light the second candle on your Advent Wreath

12/6 Listen to momma as she reads about Saint Nicholas

12/7 Read a Christmas book

12/8 Make angel

12/9 Give everyone in your family a big kiss

12/10 Color Baby Jesus picture for grandparents

12/11 Have a special day with your daddy

12/12 Light the third candle on your Advent Wreath

12/13 Make  Christmas cards for grandparents

12/14 Give everyone in your family a big hug

12/15 Singing Happy Birthday to Uncle Michael

12/16 Say a prayer for those who falling asleep unto the Lord

12/17 Read a Christmas book

12/18 Enjoy a special day with your cousins

12/19 Light the fourth candle on your Advent Wreath

12/20 Watch Christmas movies

12/21 Listen to momma while she reads about the Nativity

12/22 Make a Birthday Card for Jesus

12/23 Help make a birthday cake for Jesus

12/24 Create a Christmas tree

12/25 Light the White Candle! Merry Christmas Monkey

The Advent Chain will be a big part of Monkey Lesson this month.

Nativity Lent

It is easy to spend so much time externally fasting (dietary) that we forget how important it is to internally fast though prayer and strengthen our path with Christ.

Christmas lent (Nativity Fast) is similar to Great Lent (Easter Lent) where we keep life simple and less busy so we have time to focus on Christ. It’s a time be humble again, internal true joy, and have patience towards one another. 

I fast not just for Christ but for also the Theotokos (Holy Virgin). I think on how hard it must have been during her pregnancy with the Jewish council and the High Priest who denounced her with shame, as we all know she was proven innocence.  I couldn’t imagine traveling from Nazareth to Bethlehem while being with child or giving a painless birth in such a humble way.

Some people roll their eyes when they see or hear the word “lent” but I look forward to those few weeks where I feel so close to our Savior and can thank our Lord for giving me another chance to prepare to participate in the mystery of our Saviour.

Do you think God laughs?

When Monkey crosses himself? He touches his forehead and his belly and will repeat that move 3 times, he will never touch his shoulders. I am sure God is smiling when Monkey kisses everything that has a (Orthodox) cross on it; books, jewelry, and yes even play-doh. I am sure God joins enjoys when we are in a moment of prayer and Monkey screams AMEN, which of course echoes thru out the church.  I know God is proud of Monkey when his two favorite books out of 30ish are his Child’s Bible and Thank you Prayers. Speaking of his bible, he read his bible for 45 mins this past Sunday service, which gave me time to Thank God for giving me a funny-spiritual little Monkey. I love my Monkey and I love my God.

All by Myself

I love going to church as a family, I enjoy watching Monkey kiss the icon’s and take communion but last Sunday Monkey and DH were under the weather so I went solo…and I loved it! I forgot how great our choir is, how I fancy the smell of incense, I actually enjoyed standing for the entire service in 2’’ heels. But once it was time to take communion I missed my little Monkey. I am going to count the three hours though as “me” time ;)

The picture is from my first communion!

Friday Confession

I am confessing about money because I try not to think about money more than I think about the Lord.

History: Monkey had a bad case of croup during the summer, we went to our in-network predication but Monkey’s breathing on a scale went from a 5 to a 2 in a matter of 10 minutes, so the Dr called 911, an ambulance came to the Dr’s office and took us 7 miles to the in-network hospital. Now the bills are coming in, which I knew would because I chose the plan with a highish deducible for a lower premium (but I was smart and took the savings in premium and banked it) but these bills were higher than I thought because the ambulance and the ER doctor was out-of-network. So I have been working with my health insurance company to see what can be done.  (I am never afraid to ask why this or that or in this example write a letter for help lower this crazy bill).  The outcome is Cigna is going to try to put an assessment on these claims, since all my decision was in-network.

My Confession is that my stomach is in knots worrying about this and I have to wait 15 business days to find out what I have to pay.  I just keep telling myself not to worry about tomorrow because God is already there and I try to not think about money so much because I believe that God will provide what we need, but the unknown bills kill me. I have faith that everything will be ok, even if we have to work crazy OT because Monkey is happy and healthy. I feel a little better thanks

Prayer Walks

I like to call the area where I work Corporate USA but I am blessed to have a nice walking path where on most beautiful days I use my lunch break for my Prayer Walks. These strolls are so quiet and peaceful, I can really think and open up and talk to God. I spend 30 minutes asking God “why am I on this path” or “how should I handle a situation”.  On the way back I try to stop thinking all together so I can hear God and even though I can’t actually “hear” God by the time I am back at my desk I know what God wants me to do. How do you talk to God?

The Elevation of the Cross

          O Lord, save Thy people and bless Thine inheritance. Grant victories to the
          Orthodox Christians over their adversaries; and by the virtue of Thy Cross,
           preserve Thy habitation (Troparion).

To help celebrate the Holy Cross Monkey and I made a few crosses out of play-doh.  It was his first time playing with play-doh and I was nervous that all he was going to do was eat it but he learned fast that play-doh taste nasty. He did really good he helped me roll out the play-doh and enjoy making ball shapes out of them. After I made one successful cross, Monkey gave it a kiss. I wish I had my camera by my side but I was too still too afraid of leaving him alone with the play-doh.